What to look for in a (SUPER) Man.

Thursday, 25 February 2016

Photographs by Anjuli 

I was slumped over in the bathroom. Unable to even breath a word from the nausea and fatigue. I knew exactly what was needed; yet, I was helpless. 

Wavering between coherence and incoherence, I vaguely heard him shuffling. My superman. He knew. Deep within, I knew he knew. He was cleaning the bathtub for me. As he finished, he began to move again.

Kettle after kettle. Heated, poured out, re-filled, heated again. Kettle after kettle until the now-clean bathtub was filled with warm water. He knew.

Marriage does that. It brings a way of knowing.

He knew the only way to ease my illness was through the comfort of a warm bath.
He knew our hot water had run out and found a way to still meet my need.
He knew I couldn't make it without his help, so he began to serve.

After the final kettle of water was poured, he whispered my name softly. Helping me from the bathroom to the bathtub. As I found relief in the warmth, he moved again. Through the incoherence, I smiled with relief.

Yes, he knew.

He knew I had been emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet, and so he began to clean. He wasn't repelled by the smell, he was moved to compassion by his love.
He didn't run from my need, he embraced his ability to help.

Without speaking, he had finished what he was doing and began to move.
He knew.
He sacrificed, and he served.

His servant heart, his sacrificial love, and his generous spirit. 

THIS is a man you want to find and marry the heck out of!! 


Because looks will fade,
because finances will be insecure,
because illness will come,
because bodies will change,
because temptation will knock,
because jobs will be lost,
because family members will pass away,
because life will come; it will be hard, it will be messy, and it will be painful.

Marry a man who demonstrates through his heart + character that when life crumbles, he will step up to the plate. His hands will be praying and his knees will be worn-in. 

So to me, the girl 3-5 years ago, well done. You looked deep, and you found deep. You may not have cognitively known what you were looking for, but somehow deep in your soul, you knew. 

You looked for the intangibles, and stopped focusing on what's EASIEST to see with the eye- you searched the heart; you went deep.

Ask yourself:
Does he hold the door for you ALWAYS? (Even after dating 6months+?)
Does he pray for you when you're discouraged or sad?
Does he jump in to help when you're tossing those cookies? 
Does he seek God and the counsel of the wise to make life decisions?
Does he live with integrity and seek honesty?
Does he call YOU to a high stander?
Is he unafraid to challenge you when you're wrong or in sin? 
Does he still think you're the prettiest thing to walk the planet without make-up, fresh highlights, cleaned-up eyebrows and a toned tummy?
Does he allow godly, wise men speak into his life and call him out?
Does he ACT on his desire to honor your purity?
Does he forsake himself that he might love you like Christ loves the church?
Does he have a teachable spirit?

Each of these tiny questions reveal DEPTH; they show what's beyond the politeness, they reveal a heart that can't be made or broken within a few months.

No; each one shows a heart molded by the hands of God weathered through the ups and downs of life's seasons. One who will continue to remain when the pressure cooker switches on in the trenches life brings to the doorsteps of marriage.

And this man will...
... still call you beautiful on your wrinkly 95th birthday.
... call your focus back to the ultimate Provider when your finances are rocked.
... hold your hair when you throw up, and make you soup when you're ill.
... still spank your booty even after having his fourth kid.
... honor his his covenant to you at the first sign of temptation.
... make you laugh, then hold your hand to pray when you lose your job.
... let you cry every last tear into his dry t-shirt when one of your parent's passes.
... help you instruct your children through the terrible twos.
... comfort you when those same beloved children move out for the very first time.

He knows.
He knows life is hard.
He understands it gets messy.
He agrees it is painful.
He realizes it can be inconvenient.
He finds it is unkind.

He knows. Yet, he will STAY. He will pick you up with compassion and be moved to love, serve, and protect you. Because his love, his life is built on more than the tangibles. It's rooted deep into Christ, flowing with the gracious + purified blood of a Savior. 

Then, and only then, will YOU beat the statistics.

My encouragement to you:
Find a spouse who knows.
One who sees your needs before their spoken.
One who isn't repelled by your worst days, but rather, moved to action.
One with depth, and a love for Jesus.

Today, mine demonstrated to me through his actions how deeply blessed I am to be served + loved by him.
He met me when it was yucky.
He served me when it was inconvenient.
He saw, he knew; and he acted.

Like Jesus does in our lives, Superman came in the midst of it all, got dirty and HELPED. 
A man worth keeping + loving to my dying breath. 

You deserve this too. 

Because marriage is meant to be the living example of Christ's love for the church and to refine us into clearer examples of God's love.
I pray you wait and not settle. Find a man of God who will love + serve to the glory of God.
Any other option is not worth taking.


Live Sown with Strength,

1 comment:

  1. These words are an awesome reminder to me!! Thanks for your encouragement from afar!