Wednesday Words: Far More

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Many days I don't like what I see in the mirror. Today was one of those days and it came after I filmed part of my workout. I picked up my phone, stopped the recording and watched the playback. Instantly I began criticizing my body. I couldn't believe how bad I looked... I tore myself apart and ripped down my confidence. The rest of my workout was finished with a feeling of defeat. 

Have you been there? 

I want to say I picked myself up with some encouraging words right away! But that's not the truth. The truth is, life for me is not always rainbows and butterfly's. I have really ugly moments and more often than I wish. So tonight when I returned home from a workout where instead of being lifted up, I had torn myself down, I felt the need to tear down others. From the moment I walked into my house, I had a chip on my shoulder. I began to chastise my Superman for our shower being clogged. Is it his fault? No. Did he do anything remotely wrong? No. Has he tried his best to fix it before? Yes. Was I truly angry with him? No.

I was a walking enemy to myself, and therefore needed to put off onto others what I was feeling internally. It had nothing to do with him, but unfortunately my internal pain cast flaming arrows to hurt him as well. Goodness. That's hard to admit. That hurts to share. How embarrassing. But I hope in me sharing, just one of you might be encouraged- you are not alone. 

Sitting here tonight with my Superman at practice, I begin to reflect. I instantly had regret. That wasn't fair. Not the criticism I made about myself at the gym and definitely not the criticisms I made toward my husband moments before. So what can I do? How can I grow here, now, in this uncomfortable moment so that I develop a healthier response to my physical appearance and fitness journey?

I can remind myself of the truth. I can remind myself that I am beautiful; not for external reasons. No, I'm beautiful because I was bought with the price of my Savior. He has left the deposit of His Spirit in me-- my beauty comes from within. It comes from Him. 

Girls, We are far more than the skin. Far more than the muscles, the curves, the abs. We are far more. When we truly believe and accept this to permeate our hearts and minds we will stop tearing down ourselves which will domino effect and stop us from tearing down or envying others.

We are the beloved creation of a loving Creator... I hope today you look at the mirror and chose to see love. Because you ARE beautiful. You are more than you see externally💗

You are far more than the opinions of others. You are far more than the criticism of others. You are far more than your mistakes. You are far more than your regrets. You are far more than your failure or your successes. 

Don't be defined by the tangible. 

Define yourself by the intangible. 

Then you will find you love your body better, jealously of others will dim, and gentleness will be your love language to all. 

Never be shy to reach out-- I'm good at listening :) 

xx Courtney  

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