Confessions of a Christian Fitness Coach: part 3

Thursday, 29 October 2015

Nutrition has been heavy on my heart for the past 3 weeks. Why? Because it is my biggest battle- that skeleton in my closet I dare not give voice to.

It's easy to assume a health coach has it all under control. It's easy to assume someone who looks 'thin' or 'skinny' or in any kind of shape has a good grip on her diet. It's easy to make exterior-based judgment calls. It's easy to get away without knowing or seeing the trenches of a persons inner fight. 

These assumptions don't hold a candle to the truth. 

The truth. 

No part of me wants to sit in the weeds and allow truth to shine forth. 

But it's there staring me straight in the eye- it's as if I can't blink; can't turn away. So I sit. I sit and I speak the truth to myself and Jesus. My voice shakes. My hands tremble. My resolve is just enough. Now, I speak the truth to you. Sharing the raw beauty of breaking, healing and being restored gives my journey purpose. It would be pointless without these threads woven in. So the truth... The deep truth... I have a history of binge eating. I crave sweets and if I'm really honest, I don't eat to fuel- I eat to comfort. I eat to satisfy. I eat because I crave. 

Several days are good. And since becoming a coach, I am far more accountable. But the majority of days still are waged with dark battles I can barely voice to myself let alone the general public. 

So why share now? What about your validity as a coach? What about your image to the fit community? What about all the people who THINK youve got it together? 

Because God has shown me how far I've come in this battle over the last year-- but he's also shown me how much more he's still doing...
he's reminded me who I am and how my story, my weaknesses, my battles were made to share. 

So I share...Yes I'm a fitness coach. Yes, I still struggle. My why for coaching is exactly related to my struggles. I don't want to be consumed by the power of temptation to binge; and I definitely don't want others to either. So I coach. For myself, and for you. So that the darkest corners might see light. So that through my trenches another might find her way to freedom.

Is your stomach in knots right now? Mine is too. This subject is hard. It's hard to acknowledge we don't have it all together. It's hard to be honest with ourselves and even harder to be honest with others. It's why so many of us look the other way when it comes to fitness or nutrition. Simply easier to pretend there is no weakness, and you have full control of your life. We deceive ourselves; it's easier than looking our short-comings in the eye. 

I never liked easy. 

So here I am. Raw, honest, one hot mess of a woman. One who has tried everything in her power to win the battle on my own. Because that's how it goes right? Each time you fall down you're convinced your sheer will-power will overcome it THIS TIME- and THIS time you will win; then the other times can finally be buried down deep where the light can't reach as if it never happened. It will be as if you had that struggle to begin with. 

How exhausting. To never share with others the TRUE journey your taking. Why stand for fitness and health if I don't share the the valleys as well as the mount top experiences? 

In this particular valley of my nutritional journey, I realize this simple truth: The battle is unwinnable on my own. On my own, I'm not strong enough. My self control will never be able to overcome my cravings. 

See I was made to crave! My body shows me this! My cravings are not wrong; they're simply misplaced. This is why I lose the battle on my own every time. I'm fighting the wrong one. Knowledge is power. Once I shift my focus from craving food to craving Jesus, the battle is won. So how does this shift?

Invite God in. Pray to Him, recite scripture to yourself and allow His Spirit to overcome your battles for you. He DOES care about your struggles with food. He does desire to see those chains with diet lifted! His heart is for you to love and seek satisfaction in Him alone; freeing you to have a healthy relationship with nutrition. 

I have been putting this into practice the past 3 days and have seen huge victories in moments where normally I cave. 

Won't you join me? Join me on this journey toward freedom, health, and satisfied cravings! I will be sharing my heart and the lessons Gods teaching me next week in my 10 day Free Scripture Based Thanksgiving and Clean Eating group. Let's make these holidays ones to remember- the season you finally establish a proper relationship with your food and Jesus💗

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