Confessions of a Christian Fitness Coach Part II

Thursday, 22 October 2015

I sit here by candle light typing out a rhythm in hopes of easing my confused, aching soul.

The statement "life is short" echoes as it crashes around the depths of my heart + mind. Once again tearing me apart because the truth is this: I am lost; somewhere between earth and eternity I am lost; and I get caught in the crossfire. How do I exist with a foot in both?

In the past week, I've heard news of two women passing. Two young mothers. Both leaving behind a husband and two kids. Young kids. Both due to unknown brain illnesses that suddenly decided to have their way and steal their future with NO goodbyes.

Shocked. Hurt. Confused. Angry. Lost. These are feelings swirling within me at the news. Small volumes of these emotions compared to what their families must be facing. I'm left aching with them as much as I can without experiencing it myself. I'm left thinking. Thinking about life. Thinking about death.

Don't you have questions? Who decides this? Why now? Why them? Why that way? Why with NO goodbye? Why so suddenly? Why? Why? WHY?!

My soul demands answers. My mind begs to fathom on some level the logic, the meaning behind such tragedy.

All I hear in the depths of my soul is this simple response: whether it's tragedy or inactivity in your life... God is not the failure behind them.

I listened to a sermon from my beloved Reality SB church I attended in college. Pastor Tim Chaddick who pastored Reality LA spoke about how often, when we see inactivity in our lives, we assume it is God's failure behind it. I think when we experience or see tragedy in our lives, we also blame God and assume he failed.

He failed us. He failed them. He failed to do the miraculous. He failed to answer.

So where does this leave us? Did God really fail? How do we get out of the crossfire between remaining here on earth with pain, suffering, injustice with the future hope, joy, perfection of eternity? How do we move beyond the temporary yet live in it? How do we focus on eternity without disregarding the present?

How do we live with such brokenness when all we can see is the hope of something greater? Something we were DESIGNED to partake in? How do we not allow questions, confusion, bitterness to drown us in a sea of despair? How do we pick ourselves up and move forward?

I have but one answer: Jesus.

I'm not being pretentious by saying Jesus- Jesus is always the right answer. No. I'm saying Jesus is the ONLY answer possible. Jesus. The only one fully capable of bearing the magnitude of our burdens. The only one fully capable of overcoming that which attempts to destroy us. The only one who HAS experienced at the deepest root any sort of emotion we are painfully gifted at the cause of an earthly life.

I can't give answers for why tragedy strikes; or why a young child has to lose her mother; or why a husband is suddenly and without warning left to not only fill the shoes of a mother but also appropriately deal with his own grief while still moving forward for his babies. I can't give answers for why there is still injustice. I can't give an answer for why the one thing you want more than anything in this world has been given to you. I can't give an answer for why some women wait so long to meet their beloved husbands. I can't give an answer for why some wives beg for fertility but remain barren. I can't give an answer why racism still plagues our nation. I can't give an answer for illness or hatred or any sin in this world. I can't give an answer for how to move forward when your heart is all but emptied inside by the blows of this life.

My answers will fall short.

But I can point you to the One who can. I can offer you the compassion and comfort that He Himself has offered me.

"Because of our God's merciful compassion, the Dawn from on high will visit us to shine on those who live in darkness and the shadow of death to guide your feet into the way of PEACE." Luke 1:78-79.

From personal experience, from me, a woman who has many heartaches of her past and sitting in her present, you can trust this verse- if you reach out and whisper the name Jesus, He will be near to your. He will guide you to peace. He is hope. He is the ONLY answer; the ONLY shelter to harbor the storms. Justice is his footstep, mercy his song. Hope his language, and love his touch.

If you have questions, or simply want to talk, I love to listen and encourage others. My heart has a passion to lift others up. Even if you personally are not a Christian. I still want to love on you if you could use a friend to listen. Never be afraid or embarrassed to email me:

May we rest in His unfathomable grace and comfort tonight,
Coach Court

1 comment:

  1. Incredible, incredible words. Prayers for these families.